Navigating As a Low-Key Stoner

We all know a stoner or two who can be absolutely open with everyone about their life style, but what if you’re the kind of personal who loves ganja and can’t tell anyone? Maybe because you have a professional job, judgy family members, or maybe you’re just super antisocial. For you, smoking marijuana is probably your favorite thing to do, but also probably the biggest pain in the ass. I want to help you navigate the daily life of being a low-key stoner.

 

DAT DANK SMELL DOE!

 

            Even the most open stoners have always struggled with one major thing. That skunky, rank, unique smell that sticks to every surface it comes in contact with. This can be super frustrating when you just want to chill out for that family reunion you’ve been dreading, that interview you’ve been having nightmares about, or just to go to the gas station for all you introverted creatures out there. So how do you cover up that delicious ass smell?

 

1)    Smoke outside. Smoking inside will obviously make the smell linger around you. If you’re worried about the scent traveling to your neighbors or to other rooms, then invest in a smokebuddy or make your own carbon filter (let it be known if you’d like a tutorial on how to do this).

2)    Ventilate. If smoking outside isn’t an option, then ventilate your area as much as possible. Have a fan running, maybe have a carbon deodorizer in the room, the cliché towel under the door, and pop open a window. *LIFE HACK* Blow to the top portion of your cracked open window as the top will have the air circulating out and the bottom will have the air circulating in.

3)    Carbon is your friend. Talk to anyone who grows on the down low, and they will tell you the number one tool you should have is activated carbon. Carbon acts like a black hole. It sucks up smell and traps it. It’s also super versatile so if you have some leftover you can make yourself a mask (hey who doesn’t love a little home spa and bake?)

4)    Body mist. Don’t go overboard and drown yourself in that bottle of Juicy you just bought. Everyone around you will think you either lack self-control or you’re hiding something. Instead get yourself a body mist. You can spray that stuff on as much as you want and it won’t be too overbearing that it drives anyone crazy. It’ll help shield the smell and you’ll smell delicious. Don’t want to smell like a girl? Axe works wonders for all you boys needing a flash back to your no shower middle school days.

5)    Mints, mints, and more mints. As we all know, mints work great for covering up your dank breath. But did you know it can also cure your cotton mouth? Two birds, one stone!

6)    Vix. This one is a weird one, but I swear it’s saved me a couple of times. Get some of that vix vapor rub that your mama used to rub on your chest when you were sick, and rub that shiz into your chest and inner arms. It covers the smell so well, and hey, at least your sinuses will be cleared up. You will probably need to lie a bit though and tell everyone you’ve been fighting a cold when they start interrogating you about your eucalyptus scent.

7)    So let’s say you’re puffing on a joint while cruising…hypothetically speaking…because none of us actually do that, right? Keep your windows cracked and make sure you got that handy carbon filter with you. Blow out the window and not into the car…rookies. About 5 minutes before you reach your destination put your green out, put ALL of the windows down, blast the AC, and shake your clothes around as best you can.

8)    Don’t kid yourself. In full disclosure, there is no way to get that smell off you 100% if you’ve been hot-boxing in your ricer for the past 45 minutes. So if you have something super important to do, be smart about it.

 

That’s it for today ladies, gents, and all of you in between!

 

Do you have something you struggle with as a low-key stoner? Need help, tips, or tricks from the low-key pros? Let us know!

-The LowKey Stoner